When the Boot is on the Other Foot

For the record I am not a Hinkle fan, her play is good, but hasn’t ignited any passion in me. I am also not a fan of the religious arguments against homosexuality. I am ALSO not a fan of people who are gay or are gay allies using Hinkle’s bowing out of the upcoming friendlies as fodder for their hate.

-First off, we know nothing of her personal reasons for not participating and all speculation is just that. If no one will go on record, credible sources nor Hinkle herself, then it’s all just speculation.

-Secondly, the hate coming from gays and allies is just plain ugly and wrong and would be vilified by same if directed at them. It is not OK to do it to us and it’s not OK to do it to them.

-Third and last, actions and beliefs do come with consequences, IF Hinkle is acting on her beliefs then not playing for the NT during these friendlies is the consequence. I don’t think anyone would agree it’s a minor consequence given what players endure to get a call-up. The consequence should not be, should never be, the hate I have seen directed at her. It makes me very sad and a bit angry that the very people who preach “Love is Love” stoop to such disgusting lows to attack someone who doesn’t preach hate, she does after all play with gay players, but who is sticking to her beliefs and not promoting something she doesn’t believe in. However much I might disagree with her beliefs, and trust me I do, I also have to respect her for following them to this extent.

If you have been one of the people on social media making memes, saying she doesn’t deserve another call-up, or just generally being ugly about this, please reconsider your actions. If directed at the gay community much of them would be considered bullying and rightly so. Don’t be THAT person.

You can @ me if you like, but as always, please be civil.




My Dearest FC Kansas City,

We met over five years ago. Me, a long time enthusiast looking for a team to love and you, a new team full of heart and enticing promise. It wasn’t love at first sight, not for me anyway. You were young, inexperienced and distant. All qualities that should have sent up red cards, but there was something about your willingness to reach out that drew me in. I played along willing to see where this could go, encouraged by your commitment to grow and keep trying to be better than yesterday. Our relationship became one of comfort and stability, mutual respect and fondness. Not the stuff of steamy romance novels but more like nights spent on the couch watching rom-coms.

I was happy, but something was missing. Even though you brought me the stars it just wasn’t enough. I wanted more. I wanted you to recognize our relationship for what it was. To be open and honest about who I was to you. For four years I waited..and waited..and waited..and waited. I dropped hints, then I dropped some more. I went public with my disappointment all the while hoping that my choice to stay committed to you was the right one. Then it happened.

You had a major change in attitude, you decided I was as important to you as you were to me. You finally saw me for who I truly am.  I would like to think you’ve loved me all along, but I can’t go that far. But you love me now. Openly. Freely. And that is the most important. Sometimes the journey is a long one, but the destination is all worth it.

So my dear FCKC – owners, staff, coaches, players, volunteers – I love you. Without reservation. Without equivocation. Entirely. To be recognized as who I am is all I’ve hoped for over this long courtship. You have my heart.


Openly yours,




I’m Coming Out!

Yes, it’s true. I’m coming out, but not as gay. Been there, done that, even got the t-shirt from San Francisco.

I’m coming out in support of all the women athletes who have had the courage to publicly come out during their playing careers. We’re all aware of how hard it is to make a living playing sports as a female, and these women put everything on the line to be true to who they are. They risked the loss of what they had dreamed of and worked for all their lives. They became targets of ridicule and adoration in equal measure. I’m sure they are all aware of the ridicule, but to this day I’m not sure they’re aware of all the girls and women they gave hope to, and all who adored them for it.

I was one of those girls. I was in high school in the early to mid 70’s and women’s lib and feminism was everywhere. And while I latched on to the parts of those movements that spoke to me, something was missing. None of these people were like me, a sports loving, gay girl. I looked at all of the spokespersons for these rallying points and none of them were me. It would be a while until someone actually said the words, but I projected my gayness onto every strong, assertive woman in sport I could follow, but something was missing. I didn’t see myself in these strong accomplished female athletes because they had no girlfriends, or relationships. You never saw their houses or where they hung out. They never went to functions with a woman. They never spoke of anything but their sport in the media. No one ever asked them what their girlfriend thought of the constant travel, the swarms of fans or who took care of their pets when they were on the road.

And then someone came out, publicly, unashamedly, proudly. And that day my life and the life of thousands of girls and women changed. That day the athlete’s life changed, forever. No one really knows how much that public statement cost them, in lost earnings and opportunities, but I guarantee you that they gained something more valuable that day.

And I gained something as well. I gained a voice, a voice that looked like me and acted like me and was me.

So to all those who have come before and found the courage to come out, thank you.

Personally, I think it’s appalling that a male athlete is seen as more important when they come out. Our society still has so far to go when it comes to the issues surrounding gender. The media may not recognize all the women that got there first, but I do, and I appreciate each and every one of you.