Zlatan Ibrahimovic Award for Vanity

Zlatan Ibrahimovic

I am sure if you follow soccer, however casually, you will have come across this name. Or maybe you know him as “Ibra” or just “Zlatan”. It really doesn’t matter because none of them describe the sexist asshat he revealed himself to be today.

Read this article from ‘the guardian’ US edition: http://www.theguardian.com/football/2013/dec/26/zlatan-ibrahimovic-branded-boring-sad-womens-football-remarks?CMP=twt_gu
I’ll wait…

Lovely stance for Sweden Men’s National Team Captain to take in regards to his counterparts on the Sweden Women’s National Team, right?
Probably never crossed his mind to say something tactful and still get his point across that men’s and women’s teams are not on the same footing, financially or in terms of exposure. It probably never crossed his mind because why should it? Does it benefit him in the least to throw the women’s game a bone? Absolutely not. His contemporaries (many, but not all) share his views. He’s just saying what they think and are smart enough not to say. Does it make it right ? Absolutely not. Will Sweden’s governing body make him apologize? I doubt it. Should Sweden’s WNT coach have to defend the skill, dedication and sacrifice her players make? No.

Everyone knows the men’s and women’s game do not share the same popularity or pay scale. They do not share the same fan base or longevity, the same support or exposure.

What Ibrahimovic seems to forget or fails to recognize is that all the things Anders Svensson has done to realize his 143 caps for country, Therese Sjogran has done to realize her 187 caps.  And all with less pay, support or exposure than Svensson. What Ibrahimovic doesn’t want to concede is that while he has achieved much in his career, he has had distinct advantages over players he has been asked about, like Lotta Schelin.
Are they on par if they go head to head, certainly not, and I seriously doubt the interviewer meant the question that way. But are they on par in their respective teams? I think most would agree, yes. They are both talented players who represent their countries in a successful manner, although one with much more grace.

My point, I guess, is not to point out the inequities, we all know them by now. My point is that even though he is a self-centered, sexist, asshat, there is no reason that he shouldn’t be made to see how destructive his comments are, that he shouldn’t be made to apologize, that he shouldn’t have to relinquish his leadership role until he’s had some time to re-think his words. He is absolutely entitled to think whatever he likes, but if he is to be the face and leader of the Sweden MNT, he owes the Sweden WNT an apology and to make amends. He owes it to them and to the sport he represents.

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The Night Before A WoSo Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, at least in my house.
Not a creature was stirring, ’cause my cat ate the mouse.
The stockings were hung up by thumbtacks with care,
Hoping that something would show up in there.
The feline was curled up all snug in his bed,
While visions of wingless birds danced in his head.
And me in my flannel, getting ready to nap,
Had just settled down with a tasty nightcap.

When out on the street there arose such commotion,
I rolled off the couch like Baywatch in slow-motion.
I flew to the window in a Western New York Flash,
Tripped over the carpet and cursed the damned Houston Dash.
The moon shining down on the now week old snow
Showed it plowed into piles with nowhere to go.
When what to my nearsighted eyes should appear,
But a red Chevrolet filled with eight Seattle Reign dears.
With a Kim Little driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment she chauffeured St. Nick.

More rapid than game tweets his red Chevy came,
He whistled and shouted and called dears by name:
Now, Fishlock! Now, Deines! Now, Pinoe and Keirsten!
On, Stephanie! On, Sydney! On, Dani and Lauren!
To the top of the box! Set up in the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away with the ball!
Like free kicks into the wind, the Chevy did fly,
Like Carli Lloyd shots it took to the sky,
So up to the housetop the entourage flew,
Like Lisa De Vanna when she plays with Sky Blue.

And then in a twinkling, I heard loud beeping horns
The little red Chevy had run over Portland Thorns.
As I was shaking my head and turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in swag from his foot to his head,
Must be a Washington Spirit fan ’cause it was all in red.
A bundle of balls he had flung on his back,
He looked like a Kansas City staffer just opening his pack.

Like Chicago Red Stars, his eyes-how they twinkled!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose he did wrinkle.
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow
And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow.
A shiny new whistle he held tight in his teeth,
Always at the ready if he ran into Tobin Heath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly
That would even make Mittsy a little bit jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself.

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Made me think of Gulati and all that I dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
(Kind of like Cheryl Bailey) then he turned with a jerk;
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.

He sprang to his Chevy, to his dears blew his whistle,
And away they all flew like at training dismissal.
But I heard him exclaim, as he covered the acres,
“Merry Christmas to all, and my favs, Boston Breakers!”

*My apologies to Clement Moore.
This is what too much time and more than a little Christmas cheer will do to a person.
Please enjoy this in the spirit intended.
Merry Christmas to one and all!

NSFW WoSo Rant

NWSL (owners/admins), you suck. That’s right, I said it, you suck.

I’m so pissed right now I really can’t see straight. What the fuck is wrong with you? After one year you think you’re in a position to expand? I don’t care how much you lust after MLS money, in the end it just makes you their whore.

After spending thousands and thousands of dollars to support the first year, hundreds of hours and countless social media interactions defending all the inadequate things you gave us, you give me this..expansion in Houston in 2014.

Yes, I take it personally. I was 44 when WUSA debuted, 52 for WPS and 56 for NWSL. I’ve lived through this shit before, but you had the opportunity to do it differently, smarter, more cost effective, slower with more purpose. And like the others you’re just all about the Wham, Bam, thank you Ma’am. No one needs this expansion now. No one.

This better be a picture perfect NWSL season. Soccer venues, no multi-purpose optical illusion fields, or fields that don’t allow alcohol, or tailgating. Double attendance for you slackers. A great product on the field, not some mediocre shit you blame on everything under the sun except that your coach or players just aren’t good enough. Uniforms that don’t look like you found them on some bargain rack and they gave you a deal if you took them all off their hands. Fantastic websites and social media that tells us everything we want to know before we know we want to know it. Quality fucking streams that you can actually watch, not pay per view streams that aren’t worth the bandwidth it takes to try to watch them. Commentators that have seen a women’s game and might know some of the players without a cheat sheet..the list goes on. Fucking perfect, that’s what you owe us now. I’ve lost my patience waiting for you to get it right.

Nothing less will get my support. And if you think I’m alone in this, think again.

And if by some odd twist of fate this Houston expansion turns out not to be in 2014, I don’t apologize. You can’t treat me like shit by not saying a word and think you get a pass.

If you were a girlfriend I would have kicked your ass to the curb when you started talking to Houston for 2014.